Redrawing the Map; in the planetary Dark Night of the Soul...

What role does the "Be Positive, Think ONLY Positive thoughts; No Matter What"   play...?

Is it a life hack; or is it toxic thinking...?

I sign off my communications with "Love, Light & Laughter", a gentle reminder that no matter how dark things seem, a little self love, pragmatism & humour can usually help to play a part in balancing the situation & help us through. Although not all issues, situations, or parts of our life journey are meant to be dealt with by positivity or humour.  Some in fact; are meant to force us to get "down & dirty", in what may be seen as "negativity" to sort through the issues & grow from them.  

The Tower card of the Tarot is just such a lesson, in that; when things fall apart around us it may get very messy & perhaps teary. Usually much physical/emotional/spiritual "dust & debris" rises up around us & we lose our direction...until the dust settles & we can begin to "see" what we need to leave behind, what can be re-used, or what can be upcycled or repurposed.  It is after the fact that we begin to understand & work with the hidden positive experiences inherent.

What if when challenges arose for you in life, you were told to ignore the negativity & just focus on the positive & it would all work out...?  To ignore, deny or refuse to give voice to those feelings of turmoil, anger, rage, frustration, sadness, sorrow in order to only "be positive".  Take a moment & go into your solar plexus & "feel" that denial or refusal...what thoughts, feelings, or memories rise to your consciousness; what is your reaction to them...?

I've been observing the wave of toxic positivity currently sweeping through; with exhortations to totally ignore or deny those aspects of life bringing about challenges demanding we do the hard stuff & grow, or those life changes that "knock the wind" out of us.  That it can be resolved by just "thinking positively"... How does that work...?

While it is true that we are buffeted & sometimes knocked down by the challenges, changes & turmoil throughout our lives that will test us to our limits; it is rarely true that positivity will turn those challenges into something more easily managed - almost as if a magic wand of relentless positivity has been waved over them - in order to change the very essence of the lesson being undertaken.  In fact - it may be toxic thinking - that of toxic positivity.

There are many different practices circulating that promise to make dealing with issues much easier, or remove them altogether; such as tapping, or eye movement therapy...or New Age practitioners or witches breezily telling us that if we do THIS guided meditation, cast THIS spell - than it'll resolve quickly & positively for you. Sometimes these people haven't had the life experience or challenges that bring us to an understanding of the spell of toxic positivity.  The commonality is that by non engagement, or distracting the mind, the issues will be bypassed or vanish.  

Toxic positivity can cause more issues than it helps; the many books written & courses run bring this into stark clarity.  Just think positively & you can attain that job, house, or car.  It is unsurprising that what needs to be dealt with in order to gain e.g. the job;  are ignored or glossed over.  No matter how much I may think positively I won't become a brain surgeon - even if I wanted it desperately; it just won't manifest! Decades of study & sacrifice are undertaken in order to attain that degree.  

The more we positivity bomb ourselves; we run the risk of self delusion, self inflicted pain or anger at ourselves for not gaining what we thought we "should" due to thinking positively. Not to mention the inner or external  shaming that occurs when the goal is not achieved. In some extremes this may lead to overeating, compulsive behaviour, alcoholism or other addictions as we try to bypass our feelings of disappointment or shame; it in truth is the shadow side of spirituality.  Over the past few weeks I've seen post after post on social media platforms opening shaming people not achieving the results they "should" - therefore they must follow the SM "influencer" methodology...& pay a fee of course...

The  concept of negativity bypass is one that can be explored in further depth, as an action of avoidance, one of escape from those uncomfortable issues such as a family death, relationship breakup, loneliness.  In fact; toxic positive thinking may in actuality mask low self esteem & in itself it be self sabotaging.

A by-product of toxic positivity as a bypass can be a minimisation of others lived experiences & wounds; exhorting others to "be positive, it can't be that bad"  or, "others have dealt with this & got through it, just be positive" when dealing with the lived experience of a trauma survivor, or someone dealing with a challenging illness.  

Many years ago I recall a lovely person accompanied by their sibling approaching me when I was working at a New Age store; grieving the very recent loss of a spouse. The beautiful soul tried to express their very real emotions of loss, heartache, grief & deep, deep sorrow to me; when the sibling cut across them & told them "not to worry, I'll get you through it, you're not to feel lost or lonely; I'm here".  Each time the person attempted to express their feelings, the sibling spoke over them, ignoring their very real Dark night of the Soul & telling them instead to "stay positive, everything happens for a reason, I'll get you through this".  I oftern wonder whether this person was allowed to be real around their grief; or whether they were "shamed" for not "getting through it" via the siblings exhortations of positivity...

While there is much to be said for embracing positivity, there is also much to be said for being willing to work through issues or situations that are challenging in order to learn & grow from them & perhaps come to peace with them.

So...do you "positivity bomb" yourself, or do you work with what you have in order to shift the outcome...?